When my husband was in seminary, we lived in Austin, Texas. I was a stay-at-home mom, and Paul was a full-time student with a nightly part-time job. At some point I realized I needed a break from handling two toddlers at once — all day every day, usually by myself. (That may sound lame, but it was true.) I researched local preschools and found one at a church nearby that sounded wonderful. So when he was three, Colin started preschool.

One day, after dropping him off at school, two year old Christopher and I went to the post office. There was a line, and I knew I was pressing my luck to expect him to be patient while we waited for our turn. He did well, though. When it was our turn, we walked to the very high counter. Christopher stood next to me while I conducted my postal business.

Suddenly, I felt someone bite my leg! (I knew who it was.) While looking straight at the postman, I sternly said, “Don’t. Bite. Me.” Apparently, he didn’t know I had a small child with me, and the look on his face, as they say, was priceless. I laughed and explained to him what had happened. I think he was glad when we left.

This humorous situation led me to think about experiences we may have that lead to false assumptions. I was glad for the opportunity to explain to the postman what had happened, but sometimes we don’t have the chance to do so. Regardless of our initial impression in situations, I have learned there is always another side to the story. Giving one another the benefit of the doubt can go a long way in relationships.

“So in everything, do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Matthew 7:11)

I could smell it before I even got to the apartment. When I opened the door, the stench was overwhelming. Thank goodness I had on a mask. And gloves. The building had a water view, which was ironic, considering tourists pay a lot of money to see that view.

Inside I found an old man, dejected and ill. The garbage on the floor was knee deep. There were several kinds of insects either flying around me or crawling on the floor and garbage.

We had a nice conversation. He was depressed, obviously. His neighbor had cleaned up the apartment some the week before, but I couldn’t tell. I referred him to agencies that could help him, but there was a waiting list. There’s always a waiting list.

During my second visit, as I sat in a plastic chair talking to him, I suddenly felt a prompting. I stood up, asked where the trash bags were, and started cleaning up the garbage. Days old food, bugs, and trash went into big, black garbage bags. He watched. Then he said, “Why are you doing this?” I replied, “I want to help you.” He kept asking, “But why are you helping me?” “Because I care about you.” He was amazed.

As sad as it was, and as nasty as it was to clean up, I felt the Holy Spirit’s presence. It was love in action. I can’t take the credit because He told me to do it. I simply acted. Sometimes we talk, and other times we show His love.

How many of my “messes” has God cleaned up? He repeatedly forgives me through His grace and love. Showing His love to others isn’t always easy, as we all know, but we are to do it anyway.

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (I John 3:18)

I first met Tina at a Bible Study in the community where we lived. She was joyful, energetic, and her love of the Lord was evident. We didn’t have a lot of time to visit with one another during the study, and that was frustrating to me. I wanted to get to know her!

One evening Tina wasn’t at the study, and some devastating news was shared with the group. Her parents had been murdered. She had gone to the northern state where they had lived, to her childhood home, to be with her brothers and sister. Apparently, their house had been randomly targeted by a homeless man. It didn’t make sense, and it still doesn’t.

A few weeks later, she returned to the study. Eventually I got to know her, and we became good friends. As our friendship grew, she shared with me that the authorities had caught the man who had killed her parents, and he was in jail awaiting trial. I was fascinated when she told me she planned to write him a letter after the trial. She wanted to tell him she knew all he had done and because of God’s power in her and what Jesus had done for her, she was able to extend forgiveness to him.

But then he killed himself in prison. Though it would have been difficult to go through, there would be no trial, no opportunity to see him and perhaps obtain some closure to the horrendous thing he had done to her family. And the letter would not be written.

Through this tragedy, as well as other traumas in her life, God has given Tina a ministry to women who have experienced trauma. For over 10 years, she has led groups for women who have had traumatic experiences. Many women have been helped and supported while they dealt with their personal tragedies.

Her recently published book, Living in Freedom : A Biblical Road Map for Navigating Life’s Pain,* talks about her journey dealing with the death of her parents, and it also has stories of other women who have dealt with their own traumatic experiences. One statement written by a colleague of hers sums it up well: “Tina herself knows tragedy, but she also knows Jesus and the hope, healing, and freedom only He can provide.”

“In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free.” (Psalm 118:5 ERV)

By the way, Tina is still joyful, energetic, and her love of the Lord is evident.

*If you would like to read her book, it can be ordered at www.Westbowpress.com