(This story was written by my mother, Beth Lofton, several years ago.)

Ordinarily, depression is foreign to me, but despite my determination to live life to the fullest, I felt myself give in to a lonely, helpless siege of depression. I went through the motions of working and taking care of business matters, but a dark cloud hung heavily over me. God was there with me. I know He was. I had given Him my life, and I knew He was there. But grief is not something I handle well.

It all began when my dad died. He was an important part of my life, an example of what dads should be. I miss him now that he’s gone, but the memory of his good life will always be a part of me. He taught me to deal honestly with everyone. He taught me kindness. He taught me how to bait a hook and how to count to one hundred.

During the year after his death, several other people connected to my family in some way also died. The last month of that year, I lost a friend who was, in many ways, the best friend I ever had. His homespun philosophy, his nonchalant methods of getting his way, and his endless arguments, in which he suddenly switched sides if he didn’t seem to be winning, were bright spots in my dreary days.

The following fall, a co-worker was diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas with no hope of recovery. This outstanding man, encourager of all, caring father and grandfather, devoted husband, doomed to die an early death.

I’ve been a Christian for 42 years and never had there been a time that I felt completely alone in the world. But at that moment, when my friend’s illness was diagnosed as incurable, I felt as though God reached up and pulled down a curtain between us. My experience as a Christian would not let my logic believe that God had withdrawn himself from me. I picked up my Bible for comfort but laid it down without opening it. I went to the piano and played for hours, seeking communication with God, but it did not appear. It was the most desolate feeling I had ever experienced, and it went on and on and on. I could not pray. I could only function from day to day on some sort of “remote control.”

A few months later, my husband had emergency eye surgery for a detached retina. I sat in the surgery waiting room alone, knowing that God was taking care of the matter and that Jim would be fine. I didn’t ask God to do that — I just knew that He would.

The following day Jim was allowed to go home. After driving him there and making sure he was comfortable, I made a quick trip to the grocery store. They had some plants for sale that day, and there was a beautiful Gerbera daisy. It was a deep, rust color, and the leaves were rich and lush. I bought it for Jim because I think all sick people should have flowers.

The daisy remained beautiful for at least two weeks, and then it began to fade and the leaves turned yellow. I took it to the back yard and planted it in a big, iron pot, not really believing that it had much chance to live. I watered it that day and remembered to do so another time or two. However, it continued to turn brown, and I forgot it, thinking it would not live.

One day several weeks later, I stood at the kitchen sink looking out into the back yard, when a little bit of color caught my eye. “No,” I thought, “it couldn’t be the daisy.” Quickly, I went to the site of the color, and there, in all its splendor, stood the most exquisite rust colored daisy I have ever seen, surrounded by perfect, luxuriant dark green leaves. At that moment it was as if God spoke to me audibly, for I heard as plainly as ever I have heard anything, “You see, I am here. I have been here all the time. I’m still in control of my world and all of my children!”

I sometimes lose touch with you, Dear Lord,

Your light I cannot see.

But you are faithful. You’re always there.

You never lose touch with me.

I was visiting with my patient, Sandi, who had recently been diagnosed with late-stage cancer. Her prognosis was poor, and she was going to stay with her brother and his wife in another state — for the rest of her life.

I had met her a year or so earlier when her husband was a cancer patient. She was one of those special people who connects easily with everyone. Even in the midst of her sorrow about her husband, she was endearing to everyone who met her.

After he passed away, I lost touch with her until one day I saw a familiar address on my patient list. I was shocked to find that it was her. Now it was her turn with cancer.

The really sad part of it all is that she was not a believer in Jesus. So on this day of my last visit, I prayed inwardly that God would come to her and she would respond to him and want a relationship with Jesus. We talked about God and the afterlife, but she didn’t believe in him.

As we chatted, she was her typical positive self until she suddenly stopped and said, “I guess I need to pack. But what do you pack when you are going away to die?”

At that moment, we both knew that nothing material mattered any more. Her life was going to end. Soon. What was really important now?

Before she left town, she threw herself a big party! She invited everyone she knew, which was a lot of people. She wanted to be able to tell her friends goodbye in person.

We had a mutual friend who was invited to the party. As the friend and I talked about her opportunity to see Sandi one more time, my friend decided to give her a card encouraging her to know Jesus by reading the book of John in the Bible. We both prayed diligently for her. We don’t know what happened.

But we know that God loves every person and wants them to be with him forever. Whether she chose to respond to him, we can’t know right now. What this reminds me of, though, is that none of us know how much time we have remaining on this earth. Only God knows.

If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, I hope you will read the book of John. God has a gift for you!

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him will have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

I drove up to a small, white house with peeling paint and a very overgrown yard. In the front sat a big, old, broken-down car that looked like it had been there for thirty years.

I knocked on the door and eventually was greeted by an elderly woman who hesitantly invited me in. Since she was virtually deaf, she couldn’t hear her phone, so we, the home health staff, had to just drop by and hope we could bang loud enough for her to hear the door.

When I entered the house, I could not see any part of the floor. There were various things piled a couple of feet high in the entire living room. As I looked around, trying to find something positive to say, I noticed her Christmas tree. “What a pretty Christmas tree!” I commented, even though it was springtime. “I keep it up all year,” she replied.

She directed me to sit on the couch, which was covered with newspapers, mail, old store ads, and more. There was nowhere to sit. Sensing my thoughts, she went over and scooped up the pile on one end, pushing it to the side to make a place for me to sit. When she let go of the pile, it filled in the spot on the couch, just like when you try to dig a hole in sand.

I sat there anyway.

Her recliner was where she lived. There was a trail to the kitchen. Surprisingly, there wasn’t a bad smell. I didn’t see roaches or mice, but I knew they were there.

The most amazing thing was that this woman didn’t mind living this way. In an odd way, I think she found it comforting — like living in a big hug. An agency sent someone to help her every week. I’m not sure what they did other than try to keep the kitchen relatively clean. She wouldn’t let anyone help her clean up the house.

After talking with her for a while, I accepted that this is how she chose to live. She had relatives in the area that came to get her for holiday dinners. They were there if she needed them. But she didn’t want them to help her clean up her house.

Some people don’t understand how a person can be left to live like this. Even though she was in her late 90’s, she had enough of her mind to make her own decisions. Adult protective services knew her well. Every now and then someone would call and file a report on her, but the workers basically just went in and visited with her.

Jesus met people where they were in life. I’m not sure if there were hoarders in those days, but there were all kinds of people. From dishonest tax collectors, to prostitutes and beggars, he loved them all. He saw past the baggage, to see their hearts. That’s where his work was done.

As I looked at this woman, I accepted where she was in life. She had a kind heart. I wanted her to know that she was loved just as she was.

When I was a teenager, our youth group took a trip to Astroworld. Some of you may not know what that is, but it was an amusement park in Houston. I don’t know what happened to it, but a lot of good memories were made there, and I’m sad it’s gone.

The purpose of our trip, besides fun, was for our youth choir to sing at a musical event at the park. We were excited for the opportunity! After a day of rides and sun, plus singing for a crowd, we were ready to relax at our motel.

It was dark when we arrived, but we could see enough to know there was a huge pool on the grounds. We couldn’t wait to get in it! There were at least 30 kids on the trip, maybe more. After getting settled in our rooms and changing, we found our way to the pool, and most of the kids jumped in! We played and swam and went to bed late, thoroughly exhausted.

The next morning we were instructed to be outside at the bus at a certain time so we could head home. As we boarded the bus, we were able to see what had been covered in darkness the night before. The huge, lovely pool we had enjoyed was bright green! It was hard to believe we had been in it the previous night. Had it been daylight, I doubt if anyone would have gone swimming!

Darkness can cover a lot of things and mislead us. As we all know, dark times can occur in our lives during the day, too. Relationships, parenting challenges, job stress, and lots more can cause “dark” days. But in spite of these things that are often out of our control, we serve a God who cares and has the power to help us.

John 8:12 tells us, “When Jesus spoke to the people, he said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'”

We have his promise of light in our lives! Even when everything around us seems dark.

The last year and a half have introduced new experiences to us, and one of the most noticeable ones is wearing masks. All colors and patterns have been available as we have expressed ourselves through this new accessory.

As positive cases of the virus are subsiding, some of us are “unmasking” ourselves. What an interesting experience it has been to see what the new people I’ve met during the pandemic look like! I feel like I’m getting to know them all over again!

This reminds me of the concept of “masking” that was around long before the pandemic. We have all heard of “masking” one’s emotions. But this idea goes further. We can sometimes “mask” ourselves, meaning we hide who we really are.

What about you? Are there situations where you hide your true self?

I know this — God created us all individually, and he wants us to be the unique person he created us to be! He gave each of us gifts, talents, and our personality to go through life expressing his love. There are many challenges in this life, but he is there to help us through them.

“So in this period of “unmasking,” from the months of outward mask-wearing, think about your inner self. Who are you, really? Are you hiding your true self or some aspect of it? God, who created you, will help you find your self.

I recently read this in a novel: “Everyone was walking around holding their phone like a compass.”

We can all look around on any given day and probably see this in action. In fact, we may be participating in it! I know I have. It’s such a temptation to keep in touch with friends, acquaintances, people you don’t know. . .

And the news! Where would we be without knowing what’s going on in our world right now? Probably in a much better frame of mind.

This is what I’m wondering about. How can we follow God throughout the day if we are constantly on our phone, letting it be the compass of our day and not him?

You may have heard about listening for his still, small voice. It was told through the prophet, Elijah, as he waited for a message from God. I’ll paraphrase the verses in I Kings 19:11-13. Read this great passage to get the full picture.

A great, powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks, but the Lord was not in the wind. Then there was an earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake. Then came a fire, but God wasn’t in it either. Then came a gentle whisper. God was in the whisper.

Are you listening for his whisper?

One day I was shopping in a store at the mall. I went to one of the make-up counters to purchase something I needed. An employee, who was several feet away, leaning on the counter with her elbows propped on it, looked my way and said, “Did you need something?”

“No. I just enjoy standing here.” It would have been interesting if I had said it out loud, but I kept my thoughts private.

Situations like these can be so frustrating. We all have similar ones where there may be a temptation to say something sarcastic. Such as recently when I was in a fast-food restaurant, standing at the cash register, with no other customers around. Eventually, an employee said from several feet away, “Did you want to order something?”

“No. I’m just bored and came to stand at this counter for the afternoon.” I managed to say, “yes,” without too much of a negative tone.

One afternoon, during my work day, I was standing in a McDonald’s to get some tea. There was a line (before Covid days). I happened to be in a spiritual mode (I know — I should always be in that mode. I’m trying!). As we waited, I noticed the man in front of me looked dirty and carried a ratty backpack on his shoulder. “Ok God. If this man needs help, he will just order water.”

He just ordered water.

I gently asked if I could buy him something to eat, and he was very grateful. I could tell he had a rough life. The moral of this story to me is that if there had not been a line, I wouldn’t have noticed this man and been able to help him.

So as impatient as I can be sometimes, instead of stating the obvious, even when I’m the only customer around, I am trying to look around and see where God is working and how I can help. He has to remind me often, but when I think about this Bible verse, I want to be more alert to anything God may want me to do.

“Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord.” (I Corinthians 15:58, NIV)

Being kind and patient, even when annoyed, can lead to doing something helpful for Him. You never know when you might have an opportunity.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” (Matthew 22:37-39

It is difficult to practice one of these commandments without the other. I was reminded of this when my cousin, Karen, emailed me about Maria. Karen, her husband Jeff, and their four children were missionaries in Guatemala among the Pokomchi people. Karen had asked me to pray for Maria a few years ago. At that time it was thought by the locals that Maria was possessed by a demon, as she exhibited very strange behavior. However, the last time Karen had seen her, she was clean and calm.

Maria and her family had been relocated as a result of a landslide in their village, so Karen and her family had no contact with them. That had changed, though, and Karen wrote:

Every time I drive by that area, I see her. She is wearing torn clothes, and her hair is all matted. She runs everywhere. She seems kind of like a bag lady as she collects things and uses her skirt like a bag to carry them in. It is usually just sticks and leaves, but she always seems to be in a hurry to take these things home.

Recently, I was driving and saw her sitting out by the highway. No one else was around, so I stopped my car about 20 feet from her and started to get out very slowly. I gently said, ‘Hi Maria. Do you remember me?’ She jumped up and ran across the street. ‘Maria, don’t be afraid. I am your friend.’ As she started to run away, she stopped and looked back at me, still scared, but listening. ‘Jesus loves you, Maria. He has not forgotten you. He cares about you. Look for Him!’ She made eye contact with me before she ran away.

She was like a scared hurt animal! Please pray that my words of truth entered her heart. I don’t know what God expects of her, but I do know that He is able to communicate to her what He wants her to know, either through dreams or contact with someone.

Even though we aren’t missionaries in the hills of Guatemala, you and I know there are plenty of scared, hurt, needy people around us. They may be in the office where we work, in the carpool line, or sitting beside us on the church pew. They may look just like us. God wants us to show our love for Him by loving those around us. Maybe you can just stop and talk to them. Such a simple act can show them that God has not forgotten them and that He cares about them.

Ask God who He wants you to notice, talk to, and/or pray for this week. It can make a difference.

One day I was lamenting to my friend, Jenny, that someone I thought was my friend had done something that hurt me. It was a terrible feeling, and I was having difficulty letting it go. As I talked about the situation and my feelings of having been betrayed, Jenny told me about “the pink dress.”

Jenny’s young daughter, Laura, had been asked to loan her special pink “princess” dress to a friend so she could wear it to a birthday party. This was Laura’s treasured dress, but Jenny wanted to teach her about sharing and being helpful, so they loaned the dress — on a hanger — crisp, fluffy, and clean.

Laura was anxious to get the dress back, so a few days after the party, Jenny called to request that it be returned. Several days later, the dress was dropped off — in a bag — on their front porch. It was soiled, dirty, torn, and even had tire tracks on it! The friend never apologized. She never offered to get it cleaned, repaired, or replaced. Jenny and Laura were left holding a dirty, wadded-up, torn dress.

I saw Jenny and that friend out shopping one day and was surprised. When I saw her later, I asked how she could continue the friendship after what her friend had done, especially since she had never apologized.

Jenny said she had been very upset at first but then she realized she sins against her friends, too. Since she cherished the friendship, she forgave her. She also pointed out that when she sins against God, He forgives her. Now when I feel someone has treated me badly, I think about “the pink dress.” It helps me put the incident in perspective.

Can you remember a time when you felt someone left you dirty, wadded-up and torn with heartache? Most of us can recall a situation when we felt someone did us wrong. And if we really think about it, we can probably recall times when we were the one who mistreated someone.

Is there someone God wants you to forgive? Is there someone you need to talk to about forgiving you?

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15)

I was puttering around the house one day as our boys, age four and five, played in the front yard. I looked out the window now and then to be sure they were ok. They usually played well together.

Suddenly, I heard screaming coming from the front yard! As I opened the door, I saw Colin dragging Christopher, who was screaming, through the yard.

“Colin! What are you doing?” I yelled.

He replied, “We’re playing Jesus and he won’t get in the tomb!”

Every Easter I remember this scene and think about this — what if Jesus decided at the last minute he wouldn’t die on the cross? If he hadn’t died and then risen from the dead, proving his power over death, where would we be?

I thank God for sending a willing Jesus who loved us so much that he went through with the terrible torture he endured for us. He wants us to live with him forever!

“We know that Christ has been raised from the dead and he will never die again. Death no longer has power over him.” (Romans 6:9)